Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Birth Order

I have always been interested in how Birth Order affects our personalities. I am not sure if you all knew this - but my degree(s) is/are Rehabilitation Psychology/Counseling - yes I am in I.T. now... HAHAHA - funny how the cards play out... In college, I was always intrigued as to why we are the way we are? What gives us certain personality traits... and there I found my obsession with "Birth Order".

I bought this book a LOOOOONNNGGG time ago.... and I keep it in my bedside drawer and always go back to it, multiple times a year, to understand what makes me "tick".


See I am a FIRST BORN... and according to Dr. Kevin Leman.... I can either be a "Caring/Nurturing" and/or "Aggressive/Mover Shaker".. My "Typical Traits" would be leadership ability, aggressive, compliant, perfectionist, organized, driver, list maker, logical, and scholarly.

Strengths:
Take Charge
Command Respect
Prompt
Ambitious
Straight Thinker
Good Problem Solvers

Weaknesses:
Aggressive
Selfish/Insensitive
Never Satisfied
Impatient
Too Serious
Always Right (duh....)

Quote for us First Borns...

Hummmm... think about it... Leman is stating that the "hard-driving first-born personality" has a  "Winning is Everything" mentality. Not going to lie... GUILTY as charged and yes... I WIN!!!

I will be the FIRST to admit - I am ALL of the above, at times... well "too serious" is not really my thing - but sometimes I can be. So I follow suit in Leman's philosophy.

He also discusses Marriage and Birth Order. 
I married a "middle child". Here is what he says of First Borns married to Middle Children... "First Borns find Middle Borns a Paradox - the first born who marries a middle born should first take comfort in the fact that middles have the best track record for building a lasting marriage". At the same time, the middle child can be a vexing paradox."

First borns need to remember that we need to make our "middle born" significant others feel "special". Middle borns need affirmation - and sometimes the first borns can be "insensitive" to this - GUILTY AS CHARGED!


Leman has his own theory for the BEST MATCHED birth orders that result in a lasting marriage.... So if you are a First Born married to a Last Born - get ready to do a "happy dance" you WILL succeed (according to Dr. Leman).



Well on that note - this insensitive, aggressive, impatient broad needs to learn to make others feel special. Blaaaaaaah... I think I will go running instead... Selfish much?

Peace
Do you follow birth order rule of thumb? Are you an affirmation seeker? Is your marriage headed for bliss?

30 comments:

  1. I am a first born too... and those traits are right one... pretty crazy! Luckily I married a baby! He is only one of two, but he is the last! :)

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  2. It is so neat!! I am a first born and it's pretty dead on! Plus I married a last born so double win!!!! We have been married for 4 years and together for 9 so doing pretty good. Thanks for posting this:)

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  3. Quick question...I had a sibling but he died at 2 days old. Would I be considered a first born or middle? I didn't grow up as a middle child.

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  4. I LOVE this stuff! I was a Communications major and we talked aboutt his stuff all the time in my classes!I am also a first born and I identify with many of those attributes. Fun little fact about Shelli: I am married to a firstborn and every guy I have ever dated has also been a firstborn. Haha So both my husband and I are firstborns... but my husband is not like me at all. I am very high maintenance, stubborn, always have to be right and he is really easy going. Balances me out!

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  5. I am a first born and the "Typical Traits" hit the nail on the head! I married a first born and think we work very well together. However, the first born “Typical Traits” are not really him. Find this kind of stuff fascinating.

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  6. Crazy love this. First born in da house! Married to a last born. I wouldn't say it's blissful all the time but it's 11 years later and we're still married ha! Thanks for sharing this is so interesting might have to go get and read!

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  7. I just read that book a few months ago and I loved it! So interesting and eerily accurate. It was dead on about my 4th born and really helpful in dealing with some of her issues. I am also a first born so I'm right there with you!

    You should totally check out "The Secret Language of Birthdays" by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. I've had this book for years and I still go back and reference it.

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  8. Oh man! I am a first born married to a first born! DISASTER- I kid. I kid. We both have many if not all of those traits listed too so I can see why a lot of times we butt heads. We both want and have to be right, LOL!

    This is too cool- I may have to purchase this book!

    And way to rock out your run this morning- Feeling like a million bucks right now??

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  9. Ahhh ya! been waiting for this post! fellow first born here and I'd say its pretty spot on! yay for your 10 miles yesterday you are amazing!

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  11. I'm the last born. I looked up the traits just now. I was wondering why I was so incredibly charming and fun loving! Now I know. My husband is firstborn so it looks like we've got the winning combination.haha

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  12. I always wonder what I really am. I'm a last born, but I'm 11 years younger than my brother, and honestly feel like an only child!

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  13. Obviously I am the oldest! Lol I actually have older siblings but I didn't even know them til about 3 years ago. Jeremy is an only child. In every sense of the word fo sho!

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  14. I married a middle child. I could probably do a better job of making him feel special. Very interesting stuff.

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  15. So interesting! I'm a first born married to a middle child and the middle child need to be reaffirmed drives me crazay but now that I know it's psychology I'll suck it up. :) Thanks for sharing this book :)

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  16. I'm a first born married to a first born and we are closing out year #11.

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  17. Im a middle born married to a first born - words of affirmation - CHECK AND CHECK :) Thanks!

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  18. I am the baby of the family (of 2), does that mean we are building a lasting friendship b/c we are oppositeson the birth order scale? :)

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  19. Bahah!! I always wonder 'why' people do things/think things too! I didn't know you were a first born, but definitely saw you as a leader! I'm an only child. That probably just means I'm a spoiled brat. :/

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  20. I sound lik a first born in a lot of ways, but I'm a middle child. I definitely need affirmation lol.

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  21. I think the birth order thing is pretty interesting but the zodiac info always freaks me out. It is like SPOT ON for my sign. I have a friend at work that if you tell her a story about someone she will stop you with "he must be a libra" or whatever sign. And she is ALWAYS right! Freaks me out, haha. I am a first born so I have a lot of those traits too. Very interesting stuff here! What does it say about a first born and a first born? lol

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  22. OMG, Mel! I totally geek out to this stuff, too! I'm a "last-born" by about 10 minutes but I identify with the first-born personality traits (while my older brother lines up better with a last-born personality), YET I married a first-born and (I think at least) we're highly compatible. I think it's because I'm a twin and that throws a wrench in the gears. Abbie is definitely the "dominant twin" they talk about.

    Have you ever read "Generations" by Strauss and Howe? It is a FASCINATING read. Especially the first few chapters, before they get into historical analysis. I'm a true believer in generation types. It makes so much sense--I bet you would LOVE it.

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  23. Love this! I'ven always been super interested in the birth order stuff too. Probably because I am a first born and completely fit all the traits. My husband is also a middle. I never knew about the needing affirmation thing. Yeah, I am probably super insensitive to that. I think just last week I yelled at him for trying to get me to acknowlege his cold for the 1000th time. Whoops! Guess I'll do better next time.

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  25. This is dead on. I'm a first born and married a last born. Yay me! Ha!

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  26. I am a first born, which I think makes me awesome. I am also the favorite, so I win! Haha. It is an interesting subject for sure.

    Do you think the spitter was a first born?

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  27. First born here and that describes me very well. May need to read this book!

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  28. That's a fantastic book! I listened to it on tape and came to understand I'm not crazy. I'm a first born! I married a first born so we get into disagreements often. I try to let him win but sometimes I'm right. I should buy it and actually read it one of these days.

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  29. My husband is a first born and I'm a middle child!!
    I have to tell him that I need affection, kind comments, affirmation...hahah! :)

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