Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Facing Fears (the bikini story)...

So yesterday, those of you on IG know I faced one of my fears... I had been contemplating posting the suit pic on my blog - but after discussing it with a few good friends, I had mixed opinions. Why is it that we feel embarrassed or ashamed of our accomplishments? I find myself to be a pretty confident person - but when the suit pic dilemma happened - I quickly realized my insecurities.

I have been working out hard core lately, running like a champ, doing yoga, and finding time outdoors with my kids to get in physical activity - and guess what? that makes you start to feel good on the inside - as well as the out. AND... my goal this summer was to be in a bikini - that has been a determination of mine for the last SIX years and I finally feel like THIS year I put my mind to it - and tried to accomplish it.

One afternoon I hit up Nordstrom's to look for a swim suit - I leave for San Diego in less than a month and I needed to buckle down and just buy one. As I was walking around the swim section - I noticed I immediately gravitate towards the one pieces - and honestly they have some HAWT one's out there right now. I was picking up one piece after one piece, not remembering that I was here to buy a BIKINI!!! This adorable, TINY, smokin hot, little, sales lady - did I mention she was SMALL... - came over and asked if she could help me. I immediately blurted out "Ummmm... I am here to buy a bikini but I can't get myself to pick one up - it's been 6 years and 2 kids since I tried one on and I am freaked out". Yeah... I probably should of just went with "Can you help me find a bikini" BUT my anxiety got the best of me. She was so helpful - gave me about 8 bikini's to try on... from floral ones, to fringe ones, to sailor looking ones, in all colors, styles, etc... And... off I went to the dressing room with heart palpitations.

Yep the 3 way mirrors were staring at me - so I got started, with my phone in hand to have help from Michelle - the one person who won't lie to me about how clothes, shoes, etc... work on me. Tried on this floral one first - snapped a few pics and the response was "Does not fair". Fabulous.. just freaking fabulous... Can you say EGO KILL right off the bat. Ugh... Then I tried on this other pink one that I did not even send the pic - because it looked horrendous to the point of laughing hysterically. Another suit - sent the pic - and I get... "Let's try solids, maybe something in orange or red". Well they had NOTHING I would even remotely wear in red or orange unless I was 10 years younger and I am NOT! So now my anxiety is through the roof and I am all depressed. I should NOT have tried on bikini's - I just should of stuck with the one pieces.

I had two more suits left - this black adorable little Ralph Lauren number, with these cute little ruffle bottoms. Tried it on and HATED the ruffle bottoms on me - I looked R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S. For real - you think this mama of 2 should be going around accentuating her hips - ummm no... Sent the pic... I get "I like the top" - BAM... you are killing me here... But... that's why you are my "go to". And... honestly at this moment I was about to quit - but I tried on the blue one - the last one. I actually kind of liked it before I even sent the pic... It was the ONLY one I wouldn't feel like I was trying to be Ashley Benson from "Spring Breakers" in. And... I sent the pic.. "I like" - FINALLY!!!!! It it didn't say "I love or HOT or Get it Mel" but it said "I like". I will freaking take it - wrap that puppy up!

So $150 bucks later (yes I know a little steep - but feeling good in a bikini to ME is priceless - plus I don't do the bills;), a few mini heart attacks, depression, etc... I have that little blue baby in my closet and I took a few pics of me in it and IG'd that sucker... Marcy, Kimmy, and Ashley may have helped me to hit "SHARE" AND I am so glad they did.

I faced a huge fear - putting my body back in a bikini and putting it out there... I was even contemplating taking the suit back - but I can't thank you all enough for the encouraging words - it meant the world to me!!! Honestly it did... I stepped up my game.. and finally started seeing results... It just takes determination and consistency (and a few cheat days) and you can feel good again... (Oh if you want to see the pic - you are going to have to go IG - I am still too chicken to post it here - BALK BALK BALK- see somethings NEVER change;)


Thank you all again and I will be keeping it!!!

Tomorrow I will be posting on the "fears" I had about running my FIRST half marathon - Kate from The Widgeon Nest - put together this GREAT link collection and I want to elaborate on it for you.


37 comments:

  1. Again, no need to worry. You looked HAWT. I'm pretty sure your husband will forgive you for the $150 when he sees you in it.

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  2. girl, you looked AMAZING!! you have nothing to worry about. strut your shit, momma!

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  3. You looked amazing and should be so proud of all that hard work!! Seriously Mel, you have an amazing figure!! And posting the pic will give others inspiration and courage, to do the same! :)

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  4. You looked awesome in that bikini! I understand putting it all out there, I did on IG yesterday and that shit is nerve racking!

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  5. You look smokin! Good for you girl!!

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  6. you look amazing in it! you could/should be a on a magazine cover! and your hubs is going to wish you had bought more of them when he sees you in it! :)

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  7. So proud of you girl! You look amazing and you should be PROUD to prance around in that thang giirrrl!

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  8. You look amazing in that suit. You have worked hard! Wear it with pride!

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  9. You should be soooooo proud of yourself!!! You look amaze balls!!!!!

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  10. Love this!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one with these fears! I NEVER would have posted that picture of me without the IG post you made yesterday. YOU FREAKING ROCK!!

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  11. There is no such thing as too much money on a Bikini, you should be so proud of all the hard work you've put in. Brag on yourself lady!!! It's inspiring :) I'm gonna link up with ya tomorrow too! Sounds like fun!

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  12. I'm sure you looked AMAZING! Wear it proudly for all you've accomplished!

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  13. You were rocking that bikini! Seriously--I wish I could look that good in so little fabric, but I'm afraid it's one-pieces and tankinis yet for me! Glad you took a chance and tried some on because the risk (and all your hard work) totally paid off!

    Thanks for pimping the link collection!

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  14. I thought you looked smokin in the IG pic! I don't see anything to worry about...you are one hot momma!!

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  15. And you rocked that bikini!!!! So proud of you for posting the pic!!

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  16. It is so crazy that you were talking about your fears and that is exactly what I blogged about yesterday. And today will be my step 1 to how I am overcoming that fear! :) And you did look totes amazing in that suit! I am jealous!

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  17. YOU LOOK AMAZING in that bikini! Rock it girl!!! :) Jules

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  18. You seriously are a hot mama in that bikini! You have nothing to worry about or feel self conscious about, you have worked so hard and look awesome!

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  19. I am so glad you are keeping it! You seriously have been working your butt off and it shows! You look GREAT - no - AMAZEBALLS! Keep it up lady!! You have a lot to be proud of! :)

    samiciaccio - Instagram
    www.survivingmarriagemotherhoodandmyself.blogspot.com

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  20. Great story!

    P.S. You looked HOT in that suit!!!!

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  21. Mel! You looked Hot As F in that blue bikini! For real! You are my fitness/body idol - in the most uncreepy/stalker way! LOL! Maybe by the end of summer I'll be brave enough to get in a bikini...I have probably 5 or 6 mix and match ones from VS that I bought the summer before Norah...and I never wore them! None of them! Never worn once... those pretty's need some love!

    xoxo

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  22. I agree with everyone else. But I totally understand. I haven't worn a bikini in years and to finally put it on after 2 kids, & feel comfortable? Gonna take a shot of some liquor! ;)

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  23. So glad you posted this! I tots missed your IG pic but had to search and find it...you look amazeballs! I love the color and how the top and bottom fit! You should feel great rocking that suit in San Fran, and once again, I can't believe you haven't worn a bikini in 6 years...you look great!!!

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  24. Its a good thing you're keeping that because it looked great on you. Flaunt that hard work!

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  25. That Michelle sounds like an awesome person!

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  26. Hot mama coming through :) You looked great and Im happy for you that youre facing your fears :)

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  27. You looked gorgeous in the bikini! You are an inspiration! I also can't wait to read you first half story!

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  28. Girl I missed that IG post until just now! You look awesome! Hard work is totally paying off

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  29. I am so proud of you! E is one lucky man!

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  30. Love this! Saw your hotness of a bikini pic on IG earlier and am just now getting to the post and absolutely send hugs and smiles and cheers your way!! I can already tell you're gonna have the best time this summer! Happy for ya! Congrats on smashing thru one of your goals :))

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  31. Between you and Ashley, I just want to go workout my ass hardcore tonight. You both look hella awesome!

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  32. great ! congrats it shows your strength

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  33. So glad you kept it!! Beautiful!

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  34. You know I think you are awesome anyway, but your hot bod was rocking that bikini. MILF alert!

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