Growing up - Pregnancy 1 and Post Pregnancy 1
So by now you know that after college I got married and pretty much felt the same as I did in college. I became pregnant with my first child in December 2006. I am going to be honest - I ATE... I didn't care - why should I? I was PREGGO!!! I was nearing 200 lbs by delivery and I am only 5'5 - I had a blast eating trays of cookies, loaves of bread, dinners for two, etc... and my weight showed this... Want to see me as a linebacker - check out my picture HERE
It was when Elle came home that I really felt the burden of losing the weight that comes with post pregnancy. I was not the girl who had the weight just "melt off". I didn't leave the hospital in skinny jeans. I had to work at it - REALLY work at it... It bothered me - why me - why do I have to work so hard at losing weight? (Um.... maybe because you ate 3 lbs of cookies in one sitting - Mel - just sayin) I would see all these women go in and come out looking fabulous and I was still carrying around 25 lbs of extra weight 5 months later. It played on my mind and it sucked...
Finally 2 years later and after MUCH working out and starting to "somewhat" run - the weight came off. I had been doing Atkins for sometime and the weight melts off when I cut out carbs - but honestly, who I am kidding - carbs are the fiber of my being... so what did I do...?? Oh get pregnant again.
Growing up - Pregnancy 2 and Post Pregnancy 2
I was 127 lbs when I got pregnant with the Wes man in October 2009 - the least I had weighed since college. It felt decent... I was WAY more careful during Wes's pregnancy, instead of 3 lbs of cookies I ate 2;) No for real - I did somewhat better, I had only gained around 45-50 lbs with Wes during my entire pregnancy. I had thought "Geesh...weight loss will be easy after him" - BOY... I was wrong... You can see my preggo with Wesley pic HERE.
The last 20 lbs were awful to take off and once again I wondered why other women walk out of daycare getting ready to deliver and bring the kiddos back in a size 2? I mean come on!!! I had Wes in July of 2010 and at his Baptism, after seeing pics, I decided it was time... Time for me to make a change, time for me to stop comparing myself to others, time to face the fact that I was NOT happy with myself. I shied away from the camera (I know can you believe it?), hated dressing up, cringed next to happy/skinny people, and was losing my "Mel Spunk".
Growing up - The first couple years after having children
I can say I officially started running in the Spring of 2011. My SIL Lauren called me up and said "Let's go" - I am going to run 6 miles and you are going with me AND guess what I did... I ran it - probably at a snails pace, but I did. I ran with Lauren for 6 months or so while she trained for her first half-marathon (insert K9Bish - she was training for the same half) and we all started running together. I fell in love with running - I started to feel decent again, weight started coming off, I felt strong/confident, I was gaining back ME... It was the first time since 2006 that I looked in the mirror and didn't want to critique every inch of me. I was a happier Mel - still up 10 lbs but a happier person to boot:)
I have 2 half marathons under my belt and some fun 5k's, 5 milers, 4 milers, etc... and running/working out has become a part of "me". I have 4 halves coming up this fall and a full marathon in December - so yes running is my "thang". Running makes me happy - makes me "me".
Do the thoughts of "precisely plump" still ring in my head - YES. Do I still wonder why it is harder for me to lose weight than others - YES. Do I still step on the scale and want to be 10 lbs thinner - YES. But when I put on clothes I don't feel that "knot in my stomach" kind of feeling - I feel DECENT. I might not be the smallest mom of 2 out there - but I am a strong and healthy (minus bags and bags of Swedish Fish) mama and I am proud of that.
So I would be lying if I said I had this fabulous weight loss journey to share with you. I had periods of being heavier, but I had years and years of hurtful memories from teasing in my head. I had my own issues with comparing myself to others. I had to work on my self esteem. I had to rebuild confidence. I had to learn to love me. Sitting here in 2013 I can honestly say I smile because I have accepted my faults, found strength in who I am, surround myself with positive things, and keep learning something about myself each day. (such as embrace the selfie - wrinkle forehead and all;)
|All Natural Mel|